February 8 ------ Ahead of his much-anticipated reunion concert with ex-wife Pops Fernandez tonight at the Mall of Asia (MOA) Arena, Martin Nievera looked back on an affirmation he had been waiting to hear all his life from their children. It was his eldest son, Robin, who gave Martin words of reassurance when he appeared as special guest with his own son, Finn, during his father’s solo concert, “The King 4Ever,” late 2024. “Don’t worry about everything that you think you did wrong because I learned everything (about fatherhood) from you,” were his touching words to an emotional Martin back then.
That memory was still very fresh in Martin’s mind when The STAR and other media colleagues spoke to Martin for the collab podcast, “Meet The Press,” available on Spotify and powered by the Pod Network. “When Robin came out, I just expected Robin to sing the song that we always sing in every show. But when his son came out, oh my god, I didn’t expect the spiels to turn out (that way) with him telling me, ‘It’s OK,’” Martin recalled in response to a question from this writer.
Faced with a packed arena, he remembered struggling to hold back those tears. “I had to change the subject in my own head because there’s a whole Araneta filled with people,” he shared. “I don’t mind crying before them, but the reason why it’s hard to cry on a show is you can’t sing anymore, and I have a whole slew of songs that I have to do. “The second reason is I will forget I’m entertaining also.”
Still, the gravity of what Robin said was not lost on him. “The words I’ve been praying to hear all my life. All my broken life. I’ve been praying to hear my sons say, ‘Dad, it’s OK, I forgive you. We never wanted you to leave, but we don’t blame you.’ You know, what every imperfect man wants to hear,” he said. Despite hearing those words, Martin admitted that he hasn’t fully forgiven himself for not being around during his children’s younger years. To recall, Martin and Pops, touted as OPM’s concert king and queen, wed in 1987, separated in 1999 and got annulled in 2000. Besides Robin, they have a second son together, Ram. Both are now based in the States. “If I say I forgave myself, I think it would be selfish and uncharacteristically me. Because once I say I have forgiven myself, that means I don’t care anymore. I want to continue to care, I want to continue to give a damn. That’s why I’m still close to my exes,” explained Martin.
He also acknowledged how his current partner, Anj, has had to accept that his past relationships will always be part of his life. “Maybe she doesn’t have to tolerate, but she has tolerated because I still have kids with my exes. And she has to carry this — I call it ‘exes baggage’ — for her. And that’s why I love her so much because she tends to deal with it the way she deals with it.” Martin never shied away from admitting that Pops was the one who truly raised their children. “As a father, I could have been a better father. But I was out of the house when they were about 10 years old maybe, 10 and 8 years old. I’m not sure how young they were, but too young to say that I was a great father. Pops was a great father and a great mother. She raised them well. All credit goes to her.”
To make up for lost time, he would spoil his kids whenever he could. “I was a great absentee father where I would have to make up for it — that’s where the spoiling comes in. I mean, if you ask my kids, they love me because I was spoiling the hell out of them,” he said. “But when I could, I had to inject little words of wisdom, pearls of wisdom from somebody who has learned and somebody who has been burned. “‘Don’t do what I did. Honor women. Be honest. Respect women.’ That kind of advice, I did that a lot.” Martin has also offered advice in relation to his kids finding their own paths outside of the industry of their parents. “If you can make singing your hobby and not your job, go for it,” Martin recalled telling his sons. He further explained, “I wanted for them to have a Plan B. I didn’t have a Plan B. I didn’t invest my money well (before). I didn’t have the education to be able to do something else with my money, with my investments, with my music.”
Looking back on his 42-year career, he sometimes wishes he had been more business-savvy. “Whatever I learned in these last 42 years, I could have gotten more. I am not hungry enough — greedy is not the right word — but at least you have to be able to know how to invest. “All that I’ve done in the last 42 years should be automatic by now. The business should run itself, but I’m still, ‘Wow, what are we doing? What’s my schedule tomorrow? What’s my show? I wanna do this. I wanna sing here. I wanna sing there.’ “I’m still looking for the gig, I’m all about the gig — but no, not after money. It has never been about the money when it should already be. But my kids, they seem to be… sometimes to a fault, too relaxed… I should have pushed them a little bit more,” he admitted. Nevertheless, at this stage in his life and career, Martin, who just turned 63, has come to embrace a simple definition of success. He said, “Being able to repeat something and to not be complacent. To be lazy and complacent and believe in the accolades and what people say about you, that’s not success. To be able to do something and do it again — that means success.”
Source: philstar.com
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