Now that you’re sold on the benefits of self-esteem, what can you do to strengthen your own? Since it’s a practice rather than a fixed mindset, what you do today and every day can be a boon — or a drain — to your self-esteem.
So we tapped Hafeez, Vermani, and Gregory Scott Brown, MD, a Houston-based board-certified psychiatrist, mental health writer, and the author of The Self-Healing Mind, for their pro tips about how to build self-esteem, even if your self-esteem “balance” is starting at zero.
1. Practice Gratitude
Take five minutes every morning or right before bed to jot down three to five things you’re grateful for. “Gratitude can help us feel better about ourselves in the moment, and help us shift to a more positive outlook,” Dr. Brown tells DailyOM. By making this a daily practice, you might notice that you’re searching for potentially gratitude-inducing moments throughout the day — including the things you’re thankful for about your own fierce self.
2. Take Note of Negativity
On the flip side, try to tag the negative statements that you notice floating around in your psyche. The old trope often rings true, especially if we’re still working out how to build self-esteem: We can be our own worst critic. Would you say this or think this about your best friend if they did the same thing, or are you being overly harsh on yourself?
“Bring in awareness about these negative statements, and begin to examine and challenge their accuracy, rather than simply taking them on as fact,” Vermani says. When you catch yourself in moments of negative self-talk, try to pause and remind yourself that you are worthy.
3. Challenge Yourself
Set a goal and work toward it. Any positive progress is palpable proof that you’re a capable, evolving, and accomplishing human and can help boost your own internal reputation. Score bonus self-esteem “points” if that goal involves learning something new rather than achieving a set end, suggests a 2019 study in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. (This is likely true because if you don’t meet the high bar you’ve set — say, conquering the crossword puzzle daily — you might put yourself at risk for feelings of failure.)
“If you’ve always wanted to learn to play a musical instrument, water ski, or speak French — or any pursuit that piques your interest — rather than allowing your low self-esteem to hold you back, give yourself a chance,” Dr. Vermani says. “Pursuing and achieving a goal will help to build your self-esteem, courage, and joy, and enrich your life in ways you can’t even imagine.”
4. Perform an Act of Kindness
Hold the door for a stranger, thank your supermarket staff for bagging your groceries so expertly, or leave a generous tip after your restaurant meal. “Altruism, or selfless service, is an adaptive coping strategy,” Brown says. Since it allows us to see our positive impact on the world outside of ourselves, altruism “can help us feel a sense of purpose and value as well as boost our self-esteem,” he adds.
5. Get Moving
Physical activity can help boost self-esteem, especially among those who start with lower self-esteem, per a 2016 study in the journal Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment. “Not only does it make you physically healthier, but it also improves your mental health by releasing endorphins — feel-good, positive hormones,” Hafeez says.
There’s no need to force anything that doesn’t align with your spirit or current fitness level; everything from a 20-minute walk after dinner to a five-minute mini workout to a weekly fitness class with a friend can move the needle.
6. Give Meditation a Try
Stress, burnout, and low self-esteem can all be early symptoms of depression, and may wear down your self-esteem stores, too. “Self-care strategies like meditation help reduce stress, and, as a result, may help improve self-esteem over time,” Brown says. If you’re new to the mindfulness concept, a walking meditation can be an ideal way to ease into it.
7. Repeat Positive Affirmations
“When you repeat or see anything often enough, your subconscious begins to believe it,” Hafeez says. So she suggests speaking, journaling, or posting sticky notes on your mirror to remind yourself of self-esteem-strong positive affirmations like “I am proud of myself for building a steady routine” or “I’m thankful for having supportive family and friends.”
Try to read, write, or repeat them at least once every morning and once every night.
8. Try (or Continue With) Therapy
Human behaviors and thoughts aren’t always logical or productive. With an objective source like a psychologist, psychiatrist, or counselor listening in, they can challenge existing actions and cognitive patterns that might not be in your best interest. “In therapy, you can gain a clear understanding of the negative, unhealthy blueprints and narratives that are not in your best interest and hold you back,” Vermani tells DailyOM. Then, once you can spot those, “you can work on replacing these negative or maladaptive thoughts and feelings about yourself with more positive, adaptive ones.”
9. Ditch the Haters
As much as you work to build your self-esteem, a harsh critique from a particularly negative person can definitely drain your confidence tank. We know: It’s easier said than done to create distance or boundaries from someone close, like a boss, than from a toxic acquaintance. Still, you have options, Vermani says. “If certain people in your life tend to bring you down, try spending less time with them, or tell them how you feel about their words or actions. Set an intention to concentrate on fostering and investing in relationships with people who are positive and who appreciate you.”
Source: www.dailyom.com
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